Friday, November 4, 2011

What Happens at Home on Mom's Night Out

Rich here.  Been a while.  Anyone missed me?  :D

Ever wonder what happens on Mom's Night Out?  Everyone probably gets the scoop from their spouses when they get home.  Or not, depending on whether the Dad's want to actually reveal that they fed the kids too much sugar and sent them to bed an hour later than they are supposed to.  That is not what happened here, but in the NaBloPoMo spirit, I thought I would make a contribution that is timely.

6:45 PM  I walk A home from picking up dinner (Chinese from around the corner).  I mention that Mommy is going out tonight.  A's response:  "Awww.  I'm going to miss her."  I say he should tell that to Mommy before she leaves.

7:15 PM  Mommy leaves.  Kids have eaten really well and behaved so they get dessert.  E gets her two pieces of Halloween candy out of her pumpkin before I can even say that is what she should do.  A mysteriously selects a cheese & crackers snack - the ones with the little red plastic stick.  Odd boy.

7:40 PM  Kids have built a fort in the living room out of pillows while I cleaned up after dinner.  I used to love doing that as a kid with my brother & sister.  They make ghost sounds with E saying "Go Back!!!!"  Which is imprinted on a fake rock that we have as a decoration, so can only assume she read it.  I take a picture and go upstairs to get pajamas since I am treating them to a movie in the living room.

7:42 PM  I'm downstairs.  E says "Andrew is poopy!  Ewww it's stinky!"  A is wearing underpants.  I am thrilled.  Consider texting Susan to share in my plight but I'm a grown man and can handle without disturbing her evening.

7:45 PM  A repeatedly stating "It's easy peasy" referring to how easy it will be to clean up.  I am not as optimistic.  Biggie wiggie messy wessy.

8:00 PM  A gets cleaned up and bathed and insists that he still has to poop.  Sit him on toilet on kids seat.  E decides she needs to read him some stories to help him focus, but, after about 10 mins, to no avail.  At some point during the bath, A states "I went to the Tenleytown library today." "You did?" I ask quizzically.  "Yes, on the bus."  "Oh. With [babysitter's name]?" "Yes"  "And her friend?"  "Yes"  "And [A's little friend that lives up that way]?"  "No."  "Oh, with whom?" "With [another friend's name that I do not know]"  "Oh.  Ok. Was it fun?"  "Yes".  I decide that I need better knowledge regarding these children with whom my son is fraternizing.

8:10 PM  We're settled in the living room.  Popcorn is popped and movie is on.  For next 1 hr 10 mins, we blissfully watch "The Aristocats."  Cute movie.  A methodically shoving popcorn into his mouth.  Both E and A doing a good job of sharing.  I ask E if our cat, Harrison, can do any of the tricks the cats can do in the movie.  "Daddy, it's only pretend!"

9:20 PM  20 mins later than bedtime, but did not want Poop-gate to affect the movie-watching time.  I walk A into the kitchen to get drink of water (salty popcorn).  He sees a shadow on our floor in the shape of something odd.  He exclaims, "What the *heck* is that?!"  Nice to know my son listens to me.

9:30 PM  Teeth brushed.  E exclaiming she's not tired.  Typical night for her.  A comments that he is a sleepy boy and is ready for bed, which he goes into happily.  E draws a picture involving several coffee mugs.  I know not why and did not want to discuss.  She states that she wants our dog, Skipper to sleep with her.  This is usually a bad idea.  Dog not quite housetrained and has a few "favorite spots" on E's floor.

10:00 PM  I relent on dog issue and take dog out for very brief walk in front of house.  Dog does her thing and I give her to E.  E puts her in bed with her and falls asleep within 10 mins.

10:15 PM  Both kids asleep.  I do load of laundry (poop clothes!), pour myself a beer (New Belgium Trippel - yum!) and watch a little ESPN Friday Night Football.  Ahhhh.

10:45 PM  Susan comes home with a lovely gift of butter chicken which I taste and I give her the rundown you have just read.

That's it!  Uneventful in the grand scheme of things.  But never a dull moment.

- Rich


Anonymous said...

Great post - Reading from a dad's perspective is always very entertaining!

I found your blog via the NaBloPoMo blogroll, you're listed just below mine.

Best of luck.

Thrift Store Mama said...

Very entertaining reading !

Laurie said...

Ha! "Poop-gate!" That's really funny Rich. When I'm out, Scott takes the opposite tact. He tries to get them in bed as early as possible. :)

Rachel et Natalie said...

finally we do know what happens when we are away. Tks Rich for sharing
Yossi always tells me that everything went well... I do sometimes hear a different story from the girls many days afterwards

Marya said...

This is a great idea. I may ask Ben to do the same.